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Articles written by Rahul Gupta

Blue Chips Disbands to Better Maintain Its Exclusivity

By Rahul Gupta    Oct. 26, 2018   

In the logical conclusion of a prolonged struggle over the core values of the University of Chicago, the Blue Chips announced their dissolution late last week. The heads of the official investment banking organization justified it as a means to maintain their prestige and exclusivity in the face of an increasing number of applicants. “We had an application process, but it just wasn’t rigorous enou...

Campus Casualties Escalate in War on Christmas

By Rahul Gupta    Dec. 5, 2018   

Dozens of students were sent to the University of Chicago hospital after a heated debate over the holiday season exploded into yet another battle in the global War on Christmas. Twenty-three students suffered serious sword wounds and burns, while another twenty students received at least minor cuts and abrasions. A spokesperson for the University of Chicago Police Department provided a statement t...