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Articles written by Kelly Tsing Sum Lo

Is UChicago’s Environment Giving You Depression or Do You Just Deserve to Die? Look Out for These Five Signs!

By Kelly Tsing Sum Lo    Oct. 26, 2018   

It’s third week and, if you’re like me, you’re probably just now realizing how your limited success in high school makes you nothing but a pathetic, tiny fish in a churning ocean of precocious talent and prestige. Is the latent revelation of your devastating mediocrity tearing your self-esteem to shreds? Are the pressures of the freshman plague and midterms too much for you? Surprise! You...

Oops! I Thought Delta Epsilon was a Frat

By Kelly Tsing Sum Lo    Oct. 26, 2018   

When that cutie in my math class--Brad--asked if I was gonna do Delta Epsilon over the weekend, I got so excited that I screamed inside and also outside. I had been eyeing this guy for weeks, but I had no idea the attraction was reciprocal. We exchanged numbers and agreed to meet on Saturday night to look at Delta Epsilon together. I had a date! The rest of the week went by quickly--learning fel...

Trump Summons Backup Collection of Balding White Men from White House Storage Cabinet After Sessions Resignation

By Kelly Tsing Sum Lo    Nov. 7, 2018   

Former Attorney General Jeff Sessions, a man described by friends as “the world’s least magical elf”, resigned earlier today in a move that marks the latest in a series of departures from the President's cabinet.  In an official statement, the administration asserted that President Trump was already reviewing a list of potential replacements from his "Emergency Backup Old White Guys Collection". “...