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How to Spend the Winter Alone: A How-To Guide on Planning a Snowball Fight for One

By Audrey Fromson
Dec. 5, 2018

Maybe you were late to cuffing season. Or maybe you’ve been banned from participating in your friend group’s Secret Santa after spending $0.07 over the limit for Janet last year. Pretty messed up that everyone flipped out over an extra piece of bubble gum, I know. If you’re wondering why this scenario sounds oddly specific, take your hypotheses back to your lab reports where they belong.

For whatever reason, you’ve found yourself riding solo this winter, and you haven’t found the Jason Derulo flow quite yet. I’ve created a list of the best solitary winter activities so that you wouldn’t have to create one alone.

1. Start a small business.

Two words: snow cones. People love flavored ice, and what makes no sense but works well for an entrepreneur like you is that they’ll pay for it too. By next year, you could graduate to a snow cone truck, and you might even be able to join the big players out on South Ellis Avenue. Move over, Mediterranean Express.

2. Pamper yourself.

Lucky for you, a whole host of small kitchen appliance brands have created single-cup beverage brewers. This season might be friends-free, but nobody said anything about writing off Coffee-Mate.

3. Make a Tinder profile.

Then promptly delete it.

4. Move out.

If you’ve found yourself estranged from your roommates and really, truly alone, consider this a perfect opportunity to save on rent and move into an igloo. Tiny homes are sooooo in!

If you have any questions or feedback about this extensive guide, don’t bother reaching out to me. My phone’s been on “Do Not Disturb” since last week.