When it comes to grading, it’s no secret that professors can
be cruel, arbitrary, and entirely motiv
If you are going to office hours to beg for a C+ in SOSC, you’re obviously not good with words. Let your outfit do the talking for you. Here are some basic guidelines: yoga pants, while suggestive, distracting, and down-right coquettish, are too informal for a meeting with the Philosophy PhD candidate deciding whether or not you get to pass Power. Slacks, while appropriately serious, kill libido almost as quickly as your Capital readings. It’s best to go for a Foucault-inspired bondage vibe. Rock the choker trend with a short velvet mini-skirt that’ll get your professor wondering if you’ve been doing your Kegel, I mean Hegel, exercises. Don't overshoot the mark. Leave the pleather bodysuit and thigh-highs at home, ladies.
You may be tempted to have a successful academic career
without ever turning to your feminine wiles. This is impossible. Try to heed
your first-year writing TA's advice when they bestow the following advice on essay
length: not too short and not too long
Most importantly, you want your sexy office hours look to
seem natural. Nothing turns your Latin professor off more than
reminding them that you’re only there for a better grade. Toss in some
questions about their dissertation on Virgil to seem interested in their life. Ward off that awful air of desperation by sporting your
best Walk of Shame attire. You want a low-cut shirt that lets your professor
know you didn’t make it home from Bar Night, but you did make it to their 8
Remember, genuine hard work and intellect can only get a gal so far. You’ll have to let your objectified body deliver the A. Good luck, dress smart, and never miss a chance to drop by office hours. You never know what might happen.