The Chicago Shady Dealer

The Chicago Shady Dealer

The Only Intentional Humor Publication of the University of Chicago

Please Remember To Get Your Feels Vaccine

by Student Health Services

Don’t catch feels this quarter! Autumn has officially arrived, which means it’s time for everyone to get their annual feels vaccine. The CDC estimates that,  during an average year, feels causes approximately 100,000 to 200,000 hospitalizations and as many as 6,000 deaths. Anyone can catch feels, but vaccination significantly decreases your chances of infection. Plus, getting vaccinated also helps protect people around you who may be more vulnerable to feels, such as pregnant women and boys who are really into J. Cole. Remember, feels are constantly evolving, so you still need a new vaccine this year even if you swear you got over Jessica last summer.

While you’re at it, make sure the rest of your vaccinations are also up to date so that you can avoid catching these hands, or someone’s eye, or 22.