It’s no secret that the
university’s finances are not in great shape.; Between a struggling endowment
and a high demand for buildings to name, the administration has had to pay a lot of
smart administrators a lot of money to keep the school administrated. But, the leaked
documents include some projects that would certainly strain credulity and the
2018: Gala Fundraiser Extraordinaire: Cirque Du Soleil has
been booked to perform. The document budget suggests this is meant to pay off debt from past uUniversity
2019: A Second North Campus: Architectural rRenderings
indicate that the buildings will be stacked in reverse order sosuch that all
three towers of Double North Ccampus are the same height.
2021: A Endowment Dedicated to Ccovering the Ccosts of "Sordid Affairs"
2023: Reopen Reg’s C-Llevel: Closed in 1923 after a shaft collapse collapsed in the book mines killeding three scholars, the C-Llevel houses one of
North America’s most plentiful knowledge veins, and uUniversity officials are
willing to take risks again.
2024: A Freestanding Wind Tunnel: Planned tTo be bBuilt oOver the Quad, it will have with the strength of an F4 tornado.
2027: The “Fun Lazarus Project:”: No details in attained
2030: The Jeanne Gang Institute for Prestige Architecture:
The uUniversity’s newest division will be housed in a crystalline bubble suspended over
2038: The Discourse-Dome:! From the papers: "This arena of knowledge looks like
the coliseum of condescension and intellectual combat we’ve been waiting for.
This un-safe space will feature rhetorical traps, logical pitfalls, and plenty
of nuance with which to beat down one’s opponent. The field of ideas runs red
with the blood of inferior thinkers."
2050: Subterranean Expansion: A fFull-scale replica of the
university, but with a lower admission rate, is to be built directly beneath campuslow it.