Second-year in the college Kate Todd recently told the Dealer that she truly
believes that her grandma wears an approximately 2x2'' pin that features the
text "Proud UChicago Grandparent" and the school's phoenix mascot as
part of her daily attire.
"Haha, yeah," said Todd over a
Facebook Messenger exchange, "That pin they gave out at family weekend
last year somehow made it into her hands, and now it's as permanent a fixture in
her wardrobe as her wedding ring! It's just one of the many little oddities you
can expect from my grandma. Like how she doesn't put egg in lasagna because one
time someone during the Depression died from Salmonella. Or how she refused to
throw out my dead grandpa's collection of dead light bulbs. I guess this is
just another one of her quirks!"
We caught up with Mrs. Todd on her walk to church one
Tuesday morning and she was more than happy to answer our questionsvery happy to see us.
"Am I proud of my granddaughter? Of
course! Whenever I see her I wear a pin that says just that. Are you her
friend? Do you know if she's going to church? She talks about her friends going
to church, but she never explicitly says that she does.... I'll light a candle
for her today before I go to my film class at the teacher's union. The theme is
mystery and suspense! Do you know her cousin Nick? I have a necklace right here
with his picture on it -- he's reading Harry Potter right now!”
Todd, who is an only child and always has to
google the term "Object Permanence" when playing Cards Against
Humanity, later added, "The pin is probably a great conversation starter
for my Grandma. I hear the people in her line dancing class are dropping like
flies these days. I'm sure it's very useful when getting to know the
"One time I went over to my Grandma's
apartment for a last minute hang out sesh and she wasn't wearing it," said
Todd, who is theoretically pursuing a BA degree grounded in critical thinking. "But
that's probably because she didn't have the time to really put herself together
for the day. Some people can't leave the house without eyeliner, and my grandma
can't leave the house without that freakishly large pin! She's just so proud. How
cute is that?"
When presented with the idea that her grandma
only wears the pin while Todd is around, but always wears the dog tag with her
cousin Nick's kindergarten picture on it, Todd laughed and said, "That's
absurd! My grandma isn't a fucking snake."
Todd's grandma, who goes by Mary in real life,
could not be reached for further comment because she was off at eithereither at tai chi
classes, one of many choirs, or any other number of things she does in her
fulfilling, independent life as a retired school teacher and individual.