Letter from the EditorsDear Reader,It is with mixed feelings that we, your editors in chief, announce that we are moving on from our positions. You see, after three years of patiently waiting, we have finally gotten off of the waitlist at Harvard, and we could not be more thrilled about the move from a top three university to a top two university.
But rest assured, valued readers; we’re sure you’ll get off the waitlist too! I mean, sometimes the paperwork takes time, and they’re probably swamped with applicants. PlusBut, you’re certainly statistically qualified! They’d be lucky to have you! And you know what, who needs ‘em anyways? You’ll always be our favorite reader, no matter where you end up! Oh dear, please don’t cry!
We'll always have our memories, right? Remember the time we compared Dean Ellison to Frax from Power Rangers Time Force? How about when , or whenthe time our managing editor ate an entire pumpkin, or when we tried to shut down the IOP? And who could forget when the University accepted our bid to become the new supplier at South Mart with that oh-so-memorable pitch, "Less is More!"
Did we accomplish everything we wanted? No. We still haven't demolished Burton Judson to make room for Shady Fieieldpublished an article that is just the lyrics of a Billy Joel song. We still haven't found a way to make Net Neutrality funny. The University administration hasn't demanded an apology from usZimmer is still our presidentOne of our editors is still a virgin. But, still, in a larger sense, yes we accomplished a whole lotdid. -- wWe got off the Harvard waitlist.! And, more importantly, you didn't.
We hope to have brought you a good deal of laughter this year, and if you also happen to be in charge of an RSO, we hope that you were not also severely underfunded by a school with a top-15 endowment. Thank you for the likes, the shares, and the shitposts about us being Clickhole wannabes.
Jacob Levin and Teddy Zamborsky
Editors in Chief, The Chicago Shady Dealer