5 Tips to Maximize The Efficiency of Your CryingBy Morgan Pantuck 1. Cry during meals.
CWE, or “crying while eating,” is the hip new craze that all
the young kids are talking about. Yeah, it is a little harder to sigh and sob
while chewing a turkey sandwich, and tears do tend to oversalt your food, but
it’s all worth it for those extra 30 minutes you’ll have to have edit your Civ
2. Do two cries at once.
If you have a gloomy, gentle wail scheduled in the morning
and a brief, panicked shriek penciled in after work, why not combine them into
one medium-length groan around noon? You can save up to an hour and more than
ten pocket tissues this way.
3. Cry while doing your least interesting reading.
You weren’t going to pay that much attention anyway, and
those subtle tear stains come in handy when you need to ask for an extension.
4. Pick out tomorrow’s tears the night before.
Instead of spending precious time mucking around in the
closet trying on a dozen different types of sadness, just decide which tears
you’ll wear tomorrow and set them aside before bed. That way, you can wake up
and begin crying immediately.
5. Cry your tears into a dropper and then squeeze them back
into your eyes.
Crying costs energgy, and you need that energy to work. Don’t
force your body to spend effort on making brand new tears when the old ones
will still do. Reduce, reuse, recycle,