The Chicago Shady Dealer

The Chicago Shady Dealer

The Only Intentional Humor Publication of the University of Chicago

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Loses Wrestling Match To James “The Paper” Thompson

After a grueling No Holds Barred title match for the WWE World Intercontinental Championship Belt, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson dropped lost his championship belt to the rising superstar James “The Paper” Thompson. The match was reportedly a grueling affair, with The Rock trying desperately to hit The Paper with the same moves he used to crush Shane “The Scissors" Paulson last week at the Night of Champions. However, The Paper was able to narrowly avoid The Rock’s offensive onslaught and managed to cover The Rock for a 3-count and a pinfall victory. Unfortunately for The Paper, The Scissor announced his intention (continued)

White House Leaks: Bannon Sends Trump to Bed, and with No Dessert

An internal memo leaked to the Chicago Shady Dealer by an anonymous White House insider says that President Trump was “sent to bed early for misbehaving,” and that Steven Bannon “did not even let him have dessert”. This marks the third time this week that the president’s antics and undisciplined tweeting (continued)

Waffle House Replaces Saieh Hall for Economics

University of Chicago President Robert Zimmer announced the opening of Waffle House, a 24-hour diner chain, at 5757 S. University Ave. at a press conference on Thursday. The building is the former home of the Economics department at the University. Citing wide-spread campus support for a convenient, inexpensive, all-hours food venue, (continued)