The Chicago Shady Dealer

The Chicago Shady Dealer

The Only Intentional Humor Publication of the University of Chicago

Sexting Over Venmo: As Easy As It Sounds

iMessage bumming you out? Snapchat not doing you dirty like it used to? Never fear, sexting over Venmo is all the rage in 2017, and you heard it here first. We all know that there’s nothing hotter than a naughty dick pic accompanied by a receipt. In the words of Venmo creator Andrew Kortina, “Money in the air as mo' fair/grab you by your coat tail/Take you to the motel 'ho sale/Don’t tell, won't tell.” And with Venmo, you're always sexting for keeps. All you need is a money transfer between $0.01-2999.99 per week and a little imagination to keep things (continued)

UCPD Announces Plans to Float Hyde Park 200 Feet Above Rest of South Side

Responding to a spate of home burglaries and street muggings, the University of Chicago Police Department announced yesterday a new plan to relocate Hyde Park 200 feet directly above its current location. The move was announced after a joint plan with the Chicago Police Department to significantly increase the local police (continued)