The Chicago Shady Dealer

The Chicago Shady Dealer

The Only Intentional Humor Publication of the University of Chicago

How To Stay Calm When Your Bowling Date Misses An Easy 7-10 Split

We’ve all been there: you're on a bowling date with a seemingly nice girl and it’s going great. You even set a personal record of four strikes and a clutch spare on the first five frames. Suddenly, everything goes wrong. Your date, who you once thought was lovely and kind, bowls a 7-10 split. That’s alright, no big deal. She can just scoop up an easy spare, right? WRONG. She hits a single, pathetic pin, then sits down while smiling as if nothing went wrong. Now, I know you want to tell this harlot off right here and now, but you (continued)

Jeb(!) Bush Caught Tunneling into White House

In the first major security scare of the Trump administration, Secret Service agents recently discovered a series of tunnels beneath the White House apparently dug by 2016 Presidential Candidate Jeb(!) Bush. The Secret Service was alerted to the excavation by a member of the kitchen staff, who had been hearing pickaxes (continued)